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Jim Cummings's avatar

Hey Chris, Your writing is spectacular. I don't agree with the previous commenter that you needed to expound on the legal aspects. It's not a book, it's a short story. Show, don't tell.

Keep going bro.

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Craig Father Of Kittens's avatar

Great imagery and the ending feels right.

Your line about the lawyer, it feel like that was left unexplored.

It occurred to me that you could intersperse a scene or a couple of scenes with legal battles, maybe even a criminal murder case, or a wrongful death lawsuit. Because her family accepts the supernatural persistence of her spirit too easily, and I think the narrator accepts it too easily as well. This could allow you to get to a more powerful conclusion following the same idea (which is excellent by the way).

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